


Never More

by mrua7



Series: Strange, scary stories and the Man from U.N.C.L.E. [36]
Category: The Man From U.N.C.L.E. (TV)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-26
Updated: 2016-10-26
Packaged: 2018-08-23 08:08:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 840
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8320393
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mrua7/pseuds/mrua7
Summary: Napoleon has a rough night...





	

Napoleon was woken with a start when he heard a high pitched scratching sound, like nails being raked across his bedroom window.

He ran his fingers through his hair, waiting to retrieve his gun from under his pillow.

“Screeeeeech.”  There it was again. He quickly grabbed his Special and went to investigate.

He was on the fourth floor, no trees to scratch the glass and the fire escape was located at the back bedroom window.

Reaching out with the gun, he slowly parted the curtains and took a quick peek.

Nothing.

He shrugged. Maybe it was the building settling? Sometimes the plumbing made some strange noises too.

“Screeeeech.”

“No, it came from the window.” He quickly dressed and grabbing a flashlight, he heading downstairs. Napoleon thought about waking Illya but decided against it, and exited the building.

Shining the light held in his left hand, while his gun in his right...he saw it.  A huge raven was perched atop the window, and periodically it would rake its claws across the top of the glass.

“Problem solved,” he tucked his gun into the waistband of his trousers.

Without warning the raven dove down at him, clawing at his face. Another suddenly appeared and another, until a whole flock was shrieking and attacking him.

All he could do was swing his flashlight, using it as a bat.

Just as suddenly as they appeared, the birds flew off, disappearing into the night sky.

Solo’s heart was pounding as he looked to the sidewalk, seeing the still figure of a single raven.  He nudged it with the toe of his shoe, confirming it was dead.

Napoleon headed straight up to Illya’s apartment and pounded on the door, as he didn’t have his key.

A sleepy-eyed Kuryakin answered the call, unlocking his door.

“What is wrong? How did your face get scratched...no wait, rough sex?” He had his gun in his hand.

“No. Get dressed.”

Illya obeyed and followed his partner outside to the front of the building.

“I was attacked by a flock of ravens, see?”

“See what? There is nothing here my friend.”

“Illya there was a dead raven on the sidewalk. I killed it with my flashlight.”

“Napoleon, there are at present no ravens in New York city. They largely disappeared, not only from the city but from all of New York State, New Jersey and southern New England.”

“I know what I saw and they were ravens! They did this to me!” He pointed to the claw marks on his cheek.

“Come, let us take care of them before your wounds become infected,” Illya nudged his partner along.

They returned to Napoleon’s apartment where Kuryakin tended to his partner.

“There. The wound is cleaned, and I put an antibiotic cream on it. Keep using that along with this vitamin E cream to keep it from scarring. Now I will bid you goodnight. Go to bed Napoleon and try to relax.”

Illya disappeared out the door and Solo immediately locked up after him, resetting the alarm system.

Heading off to the bedroom, he changed back into his pajamas and crawled into bed, driving the incident out of his mind for the moment.  Tomorrow he’d investigate, perhaps contacting the local Audubon Society regarding raven sightings.

As he closed his eyes, he took a deep calming breath.

“Screeeech.” That was followed by a deep throaty ‘kraaaaw.’

 _ **“Never more!”** _ He shouted, with the words from Edgar Allan Poe suddenly coming to mind in hopes it would hear him.

Apparently it did…

The next day Napoleon met with local birding enthusiasts who told him there were no ravens in the city, confirming what Illya had said.

He returned to headquarters, finding his partner in their shared office.

“So you were right about the ravens tovarisch.”

“I usually am,” Illya seemed a bit smug in his reply. “I have been thinking more on the matter and have concluded what happened to you is because All Hallow’s Eve is approaching.”

“You, ever the pragmatist?” Napoleon laughed. “You’re not a believer in the supernatural.”

“Think about the strange experiences we have had in the past this time of year; ghosts, werewolves, Count Zark...though he might not count as supernatural. I could go on.”

“You’ve made your point,” Napoleon flopped into his chair.

“Have you checked your cheek lately?” Illya asked.

“Not since I looked in the mirror this morning and decided not to shave. I’m going up to medical later to have them look over the wounds.”

“Do not bother my friend,” Illya cocked his eyebrows.”The wounds are gone. They appear completely healed, with no trace of scars.”

“Really?” Napoleon opened his desk drawer and withdrew a small mirror. “Well I’ll be darned. Your tender treatment did the trick I guess.”

“Napoleon, no wound heals that quickly.”

He knew his partner was right as well as about their supernatural encounters.  Napoleon reached deep into his desk drawer and took out a hot pink rabbit’s foot and stuck it in his jacket pocket...just in case.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


End file.
